


I Will Not Break. I Am Not Broken.

by rmowens



Category: Spartacus Series (TV)
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Romance, Schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-31
Updated: 2015-05-31
Packaged: 2018-04-02 05:54:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4048678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rmowens/pseuds/rmowens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One-shot. Missing scene I wish really existed. Takes place 3 weeks after Agron is returned after being crucified.</p>
<p>During a quiet moment in the middle of the night, Agron worships a sleeping Nasir, which leads to a sexual and emotional reunion.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Will Not Break. I Am Not Broken.

**Author's Note:**

> My original idea was to write about Agron watching Nasir as he slept and contemplating their relationship and lives in that moment of solitary intimacy. I didn't intend for this story to take such an explicit turn, but apparently the heart wants what the heart wants. 
> 
> I hope it's not too schmoopy, but hey, nothing wrong with a lot of fluff.

Agron’s feet shuffled as he entered the tent he shared with Nasir. He was too tired to pick them up and walk properly. Since his return from the cross, Spartacus held many meetings with him, gathering as much information as he could from the injured man about his torturers. As much as it pained Spartacus to hear the horrors Agron suffered at the Romans’ hands, he had now been debriefed on Crassus’ generals, his battle methods, his ambitions regarding the war, and his strengths as well as his weaknesses. He now knew everything Agron had to share.

The dark grew late. The moon had been high for hours now as Agron took leave of his leader and entered his makeshift home.

As he stepped in, he instinctively and habitually looked for his heart. Nasir left some candles burning to light Agron’s return and the small flames gave the tent a warm and ethereal glow. He thought Nasir may have stayed awake, waiting for him, but as his green eyes rested on their bed of furs and pelts, he saw his little man curled up in them, sleeping soundly.

Agron’s eyes roamed over Nasir as he removed his subligaria and sandals, preparing to enter their bed for sleep. As he slipped between the furs, he turned to face Nasir, who was sleeping on his right side. 

Immediately, Agron lifted his right arm to run his fingers over Nasir’s face but instead, mid-way, pulled his damaged hand back to his side. The pain of even holding his hand outreached was cumbersome as his muscles and tendons strained to stay up. His bandage was damp with blood. His face contorted in anger and grief as he stared at his hand in hopelessness. He would be poor company right now so he elected to let Nasir continue his slumber without interruption. 

Instead, Agron laid his head on the pillow and began studying his heart. His wild dog during the day, Nasir always looked so peaceful in sleep at night. So innocent. Nasir was only a few years younger than him, but he looked much younger as he slept. Only the scars across his eye and abdomen gave hint of dangerous and hard life. His face was soft and round, smushed against the pillow, his lips slightly parted as he breathed in an out through them. His fingers were curled around the furs and his legs spread out, allowing Agron only a small portion of the bed to occupy. A slave since childhood, he had never shared the intimacy of a bed with a lover before the gladiator, and was accustomed to having one to himself. Agron didn’t mind. He usually ended up sleeping on top of some part of Nasir. 

He contemplated that Nasir never complained about Agron’s crushing weight on top of him every night. Perhaps he enjoyed it. Perhaps it made him feel safe. 

He took in Nasir’s black hair, which was wild and unruly against his pillow. He noticed the black ribbon which normally tied it back was lying on the floor above the bed, waiting to be useful once again in the morning. He remembered when he gave it to Nasir as a gift, left behind by a Roman during a siege on a villa. Agron thought it a beautiful thing and practical as well. He worried that Nasir’s hair would fall loose in battle, causing him to misstep, or be blind to flank attack. His boy’s face had shown such gratitude and surprise at the gift, it caused Agron’s chest to swell and as he tied it securely in Nasir’s hair for the first time, his worry diminished.

How he loved that hair. It was always so soft against his fingers, its pleasant scent lingered in his nose after a night of being buried in it, and when Nasir straddled him, leaning down to kiss him, the strands made a curtain that always tickled his neck and face, sending shivers down his spine.

The pleasant thoughts distracted Agron from his formerly melancholy mood and he decided to study Nasir more. He had never done this before. All the nights they laid together, Agron never really took the time to learn every line, every freckle, every beautiful imperfection of Nasir. He was more of a toucher. He would run his hands and finger tips over his little man after taking him, memorizing flesh and curve with his touch. Every day that he was tortured at the Romans’ hands, the only thing that willed him to live was the thought of Nasir. He would retreat into his mind and retrace those curves, run his fingers through that hair and in his delirium, Nasir would tell him how much he loved him and needed him to return to his arms. 

Nasir’s dark skin seemed to soak up the candle light, causing him to glow with the flames. Agron took in the dark stubble on Nasir’s face. He always tried to keep clean shaven, when possible, but with the agony of losing his heart, Nasir ceased taking proper care of his appearance. When Agron had returned, Nasir inspected him from head to toe, taking in every injury, no matter how small. He had commented that Agron looked like death (a bad jest, even to Nasir), but what Nasir didn’t notice was that Agron was also inspecting him. Agron noted he looked gaunt from lack of nourishment and sleep. His eyes were red from abundance of tears and exhaustion. His skin pale from perpetual anguish. 

But now, they were both healing. Agron no longer looked like a human training post and in the candlelight, Agron was happy to see Nasir returning to the healthy form he loved so much. 

Agron’s belly began to fill with yearning the longer he appreciated his lover’s sleeping form. Nasir’s breathing was steady as his chest rose and fell with each inhale and exhale. He even let out an occasional soft snore which made Agron smile. He had been back with his rebel family for three weeks now, and he and Nasir had yet to take one another. Nasir was too afraid of worsening injuries, yet he couldn’t fault his heart for such worries as he himself had fretted over the same when it had been Nasir healing from the brink of death. 

After so much pain, his body craved physical pleasure and his soul longed for the comfort only Nasir could provide. His eyes focused on Nasir’s soft lips. He had kissed him only hours ago but the hunger for them never stopped. He watched the relaxed mouth as breaths entered and exited, his own breathing speeding as his heart beat increased. Agron’s eyes traveled up to appreciate Nasir’s eyelashes. They were so long and soft. They framed his beautiful brown eyes perfectly. Agron wished to see those eyes looking into his own; wished to hear that soft, soothing voice say his name. It had been too long since he heard the sweetest sound in the world, his heart, moaning in pleasure at Agron’s touch. 

Agron’s need was becoming too great to suppress. He needed to worship Nasir. He needed the most intimate part of his lover. He needed to finally be home. The heat pooling his in him was becoming too much to bear. He knew Nasir would only refuse him if he awoke him with the request, too afraid of breaking Agron. 

Instead, Agron slowly and gently slid down the bed, careful not to jostle Nasir. Both still laying on their sides, He stopped when his face aligned with Nasir’s cock. It looked beautiful and tempting in the glowing candle light. It was soft and limp again Nasir’s thigh. Agron put his nose to the patch of black hair surrounding his boy’s cock and he inhaled, relishing the scent he was addicted to. He gently pressed his nose to the soft skin against Nasir’s shaft and balls, nuzzling, taking in the smell and warmth. Agron’s skin was on fire. His heart thumped in his chest and his own cock was growing hard at the sensations he was experiencing. The gladiator’s lust for Nasir had never waned. He paused to see if Nasir was yet awake, but he was not.

Slowly, he reached his tongue out and ran it along the underside of Nasir’s shaft. A sleepy moan immediately came from his boy. He continued, cautiously licking and laying wet, soft kisses along his cock, balls and thighs. It wasn’t long before Nasir was emerging from his haze of sleep, moaning in pleasure, calling out Agron’s name in his fog. Agron grinned at the impulse to call out for him, proud of his little man for wanting him, even in sleep. 

However, right as Nasir was beginning to realize this was not a dream, that his German was initiating sex, and he was about to protest, Agron opened his lips wide and swallowed the entirety of Nasir into his warm, wet mouth. Nasir’s eyes flew open, his breathing deepened and his moan shattered the silence as Agron completely wrested him from sleep in much a manner. His hands flew to Agron’s head, burying his fingers in short blonde hair. Agron continued to suck at Nasir, running his tongue along skin and sensitive nerves. He enjoyed the taste and saltiness of Nasir’s pre-cum. He didn’t have the use of fine motor skills in his fingers to firmly grip cock, but there was nothing wrong with his mouth and tongue as they devoured his boy, bringing him to heights not traveled in a long while. 

Nasir chanted Agron’s name like a prayer, his hands gripping Agron’s hair and face as he released, Agron taking in as much as he could and the rest dripping onto his naked chest. Gods he had missed that. His satisfaction was evident on his face as he watched Nasir’s head collapse onto the pillow, lost in bliss. He placed his head on Nasir’s belly, waiting for the lecture he was sure to get, but knowing this wasn’t over as his own cock was throbbing and leaking with desire to enter his little man’s body. Nasir’s voice brought him out of his reverie.

“Agron, you should not have done that, your injuries.” Nasir’s face was full of guilty concern.

“I will not break Nasir. Any pain experienced from wounds during pleasure with you is worth it. I would have you tonight.” Agron’s voice was strong and clear on the matter, his eyes glued to Nasir’s, demonstrating his resolve. 

His voice and face softened as he continued “I have missed my heart. I would not be away from his arms any longer. My belly aches with need to touch you, to be inside of you. Deny me no longer my love.” 

Nasir’s face also softened, his head slowly nodded in agreement, the nervousness written on his features. Agron sighed in relief as he heard the voice he loved so much say “I have missed your arms as well. We will be careful though” Nasir insisted. “I cannot bear to see you in pain.” 

“I would yet taste you more” Agron’s eyes were hungry with desire as he gently coaxed Nasir back to the furs. “And prepare you for my cock using ways other than unsteady fingers.”

Nasir laid back and tried to relax as he opened his legs for Agron. Both cocks had gone soft during their broken words, but the sight in front of Agron was enough to make his blood start pumping again. He once more licked at sucked at Nasir, causing him to whimper as his cock came back to life. 

Agron continued for a short while before commanding Nasir turn to his stomach, which he unquestioningly obeyed. Agron’s body slid up allowing his face to rest in front of Nasir’s soft ass cheeks. He gave it the same attention he devoted to his boy’s cock. He ran his lips and nose over the smooth skin, laying wet, sucking kisses on each one; watching his saliva dry on skin in the candlelight and savoring the feel in his unhurried reverence. 

Nasir was quiet, only breathing raggedly in anticipation but he whimpered as Agron’s tongue reached out and ran the length of his crack. He began at Nasir’s lower back and slowly traveled down to the skin under Nasir’s balls. Nasir raised his hips, both to allow Agron easier access and as an invitation. He could hear the smile in Agron’s breath, could feel it on his face when he again positioned himself at the top of Nasir’s ass. This time however, Agron’s tongue dipped into the crack as he journeyed down his boy’s body. 

Nasir involuntarily arched his back as Agron’s tongue caressed the sensitive skin around his hole, leaving warm saliva building up, and running down onto his thighs. His mouth continued to greedily lick and suck at his hole, his tongue delving into the puckered opening, stretching him with his tongue. Agron was obsessed with Nasir’s scent and taste. He smelled of musk and sweat and man. He tasted of skin and salt. 

Agron’s saliva continued to drip down Nasir’s ass, onto his thighs and to the furs beneath him. Nasir’s whimpers were now moans, his hips in the air, his face buried in the pillow, hands clutching the furs with white knuckles. Agron lifted his head, his lips were swollen and red from the ministrations, his tongue sore from the work. He gazed at Nasir who looked beautiful in his position. Agron could see desire and pleasure on his face and could not wait any longer to take him. 

He moved to position his cock as Nasir’s entrance when Nasir stopped him. “Wait. I would not have you exert yourself. I will do the work.” 

Agron would not argue with Nasir in such a matter when he had recently insisted they would fuck carefully. His heart’s gentle hands switched their places, cautiously laying Agron on the furs beneath him. The skin on his back was warmed by the spot Nasir’s body had heated.

Nasir straddled Agron’s hips, his ass lightly grazing his straining cock. He could feel Nasir’s wet thighs pressed against his own outer ones as Nasir leaned down to kiss him, happily letting little man taste himself. 

Nasir broke away from the kiss, leaving Agron disappointed and wanting more. “Your tongue did wonders to prepare” he smiled shyly, a smile Agron adored, “but it has been too long since you’ve entered me. More is needed.” 

Carefully, Nasir leaned back, exposing his cock and ass to Agron. Nasir’s fingers entered his mouth and Agron watched as he sucked them in, letting saliva coat them before moving them to his hole. He watched as Nasir purposely swirled his wet fingers through his wet crack, mixing their fluids together before inserting a finger into himself. Agron stared, entranced at the sight. Nasir’s head was thrown back, his eyes were closed and his index finger disappeared into his body then reappeared outside of it over and over again. The fire in his belly grew and when Nasir decided another finger was needed, he reached out and ran his middle finger over the tip of Agron’s cock, collected the large amount of pre-cum that was oozing from the head, and used it to easily slide both fingers inside of himself. At the sight, his cock twitched and his hands reached out for Nasir’s hips. 

He gently placed his bandaged hands on Nasir’s soft brown skin, causing Nasir to open his eyes and look at his lover. His boy’s face was filled with lust and need. They had been without each other’s touch for so long that the longing between them was electric. The heat in the tent would have been suffocating to anyone else, but the two men were so enraptured with each other, everything else fell away.

Finally Nasir was stretched and dripping with saliva and pre-cum. Wordlessly, he positioned himself above Agron’s cock, taking it in his hand and guiding his body onto it. He teased first, sliding the tip over his entrance, causing Agron to groan in displeasure at the procrastination. Nasir but smiled as the smooth head of his gladiator’s cock grazed his sensitive hole, spreading more fluid between them. 

Nasir took pity. As the tip of Agron’s cock entered his boy, and he felt that first ring of tight muscle close around, him he could not hold back the moan that escaped his throat. And as Nasir slowly and tortuously lowered himself onto Agron’s cock, a little at a time, both men panted and cursed and struggled to hold back their release. Nasir felt the sweet burn of being invaded, his sensitive walls welcoming the intruder after so long absent. Agron felt warm, wet tightness envelop his own receptive skin and nerves. Both enjoyed their respective pleasure and when Nasir bottomed out, he leaned up to kiss Agron, their tongues mingling together in heat. 

Agron watched Nasir’s body as he began to gently move his hips, careful not to disturb Agron’s wounds. He watched as his boy gracefully gyrated and rocked against him. His damaged hands once again moved to those dancing hips, his fingers following along with Nasir’s movements. His skin glowed in the candlelight and his brown eyes sparkled as they looked into his own green ones. Neither spoke as Nasir tenderly rode him. Both lost in the physical sensations. Reclaiming what they thought was lost forever. Only heavy breaths and soft whimpers filled the air.

He noticed Nasir’s eyes begin to water as he felt the Syrian’s ass clench around his cock. His lips began to tremble. He hated to see Nasir cry. He was always the cause of it. He wondered what he had done this time. Agron reached his hand out to cup Nasir’s cheek, his thumb swiping any tears away. Nasir reached up, grabbing Agron’s lame hand and holding it against his cheek as he stopped his ride. Agron’s face filled with pain at his boy’s own look of hurt.

“Never leave my arms again.” Nasir’s voice was soft, holding back his tears as he kissed Agron’s palm delicately. It was both a plea and a command.

Agron swallowed hard. Nasir always had a way of saying and doing things that shook him to his core. That made him stop and think that his life was not his own anymore; it was their life and he must learn to let go of his selfish pride and jealousy. Those five little words were nothing poetic and flowery, but coming from Nasir, with those tears and that voice, Agron’s heart broke and he knew he would always do as Nasir wished, if only to never see tears or pain on his lover’s face again.

He nodded his head in agreement, his wide green eyes staring into Nasir’s brown. “Never” he agreed.

Agron’s hands left Nasir’s body and his arms opened wide, inviting Nasir to fall into him. The younger man leaned down, their bare chests pressing against one other and Nasir buried his face in Agron’s neck as he began to move on Agron’s cock once again. 

Both men set mind to task. Nasir kissed Agron’s neck, sliding his hips up and down, around in circles and any other way that made Agron moan and twitch. Agron’s hands roamed over Nasir. They tangled in his hair, they caressed skin on his sweaty back, and they lightly gripped his ass as it moved against him. Nasir found the spot inside himself that made him see bright stars with each brush against it. 

At finding the magic bundle of nerves, he rose up and began to ride Agron with purpose now rather than sweet laziness. He rode Agron slowly, but forcefully, and each time his prostate was assaulted his moans made Agron’s cock twitch within him. He went to move his fingers around Nasir’s own neglected and dripping cock but found he could not grip. Remembering his promise, he refused to feel pity for himself and instead commanded Nasir.

“Touch yourself. I cannot grip.” Nasir complied and wrapped his fingers around his length and began to pump himself while still riding Agron. His face shown such pleasure and his eyes found Agron’s, heating his blood even more. 

Nasir continued, on the verge of completion. Agron’s hands again rested on his hips, watching the show of Nasir fucking above him. Without thinking, Agron blurted out his thoughts.

“You are so very beautiful my heart.” Nasir smiled widely at the unexpected compliment and with one final downward thrust, his prostate and cock could take no more and he released, feeling a familiar explosion within his body. His fingers gripped Agron’s shoulders as his hole contracted around Agron’s cock, locking him in a vice grip, causing Agron’s release to come simultaneously. He let go inside of Nasir, both panting, clinging to one other, covered in sweat, saliva and cum. Neither cared though. 

In this tent, by the light of the dying candles, at such a late hour, with his body both singing from pleasure and exhausted from exertion, Agron cared not about anything, except for his boy, who was plastered against his body, trying to regain his breath. 

“I would not leave your side ever again. And if I am to be dragged kicking and screaming onto the shores of the afterlife, I would wait for you to return to my arms.” 

He kissed Nasir’s sweat damped hair and Nasir mumbled something unintelligible as he returned to the slumber Agron had forced him from. He smiled as Nasir subconsciously sprawled out, taking all of the empty space around Agron’s body. He just molded himself onto his boy’s form and too fell into a peaceful slumber. One which he only knew when Nasir was by his side.


End file.
